Name: Alastair “Ally” McCrae
Age: 75
Gender: Male
Political Affiliation: Scottish Conservative and Unionist Party
Current Residence: A detached Victorian house on the outskirts of Crieff, Perthshire

Background

Place of Birth & Upbringing:
Born in Bridge of Allan in 1950 to a socially ambitious family. His father worked as a senior tax inspector in Edinburgh; his mother was a private piano tutor and a relentless believer in good manners, proper diction, and upward mobility.

The McCraes weren’t wealthy, but they were firmly upper-middle-class aspirants — the kind of family that bought one good suit per decade and sent their children to schools with crests. Ally grew up in a household that worshipped the Queen, feared scandal, and referred to dinner as “supper.”

Education:
Educated at a respected independent day school in Stirling, where he wore a cap until it went out of fashion and learned to fence (badly). He was neither a rebel nor a star — just stubborn, quietly competitive, and already skeptical of the world’s promises.

He studied Mechanical Engineering at Heriot-Watt in Edinburgh but dropped out in his second year, frustrated by what he called “academic waffle” and annoyed by classmates who quoted Marx unironically.

Career

Ally spent over three decades working in technical operations management for a mid-sized defence and infrastructure contractor based in Glasgow. He worked his way up from the shop floor into middle management, never quite breaking into the upper tiers — a fact that still rankles.

He was known as capable but curt, respected but avoided. He retired reluctantly at 62, muttering about “diversity hires” and “bloody HR getting ideas above their station.”

Personality

• Grumpy & Perpetually Disappointed:
  Ally carries the air of a man perpetually bracing for more bad news. Nothing is ever quite good enough, and everyone is either lazy, naïve, or up to something. He doesn't trust smiles unless they come from dogs.
• Cynical Aspirant:
  He has spent his life looking slightly upward — resenting those who have more, yet mocking those below him who dare to reach. He admires status but despises entitlement. He calls private schools “essential,” but mocks anyone who uses the word brunch.
• Unionist and Monarchist:
  Ally is a staunch British Unionist, proudly Scottish but even more proudly not a nationalist. He loathes the SNP, detests the very idea of a second referendum, and insists that Nicola Sturgeon “never worked a real day in her life.”
  Still refers to Queen Elizabeth II as The Queen. Charles is “that lad with the ears.”

Beliefs & Worldview

• Conservative to the Core:
  He believes in hierarchy, order, and “a bit of fear in the classroom.” Ally dismisses most political issues as “nonsense whipped up by people with too much time.” He opposes change on principle unless it involves repairing potholes or restoring the monarchy's powers.
• Strongly Opinionated:
  Ally has an opinion on everything — electric cars (“ridiculous”), immigration (“managed, not open bloody season”), climate protesters (“entitled brats”), and modern art (“it’s a bin with a label on it”).
• Media Habits:
  He reads The Telegraph, listens to BBC Radio 4 (while complaining it's gone soft), and watches GB News, only because “at least they say it out loud.” Owns a dusty Sky box but still prefers DVDs.
• Reluctantly Religious:
  A cultural Anglican who hasn't been to church in 20 years, but defends “Christian values” with surprising fervour. Once referred to mindfulness as “Buddhist nonsense for bored middle managers.”

Hobbies & Lifestyle

• Gardening, Whisky, and Grudges:
  Takes deep pride in his rose bushes, loathes foxes, and drinks a dram of Islay single malt every evening after dinner (which is always at 6pm sharp). Keeps a handwritten list of people he "doesn't speak to anymore."
• Paper & Ink:
  Writes letters to the local paper and occasionally to his MP. Handwritten, naturally. Owns a collection of fountain pens and knows which ones are “English-made, not that Chinese rubbish.”
• Technology-Averse but Grudgingly Competent:
  Owns a clunky old laptop mainly used for reading The Spectator and checking the weather. Carries a mobile phone but refuses to text. He calls emojis “symbols for the illiterate.”

Quirks

• Still uses the phrase “back in my day” without irony.
• Keeps a full tea service he never uses, just “in case someone visits who knows how to behave.”
• Thinks anyone in a hoodie is suspicious.
• Owns cufflinks but hasn't worn them in ten years.
• Disbelieves in allergies (“They didn't exist when we were kids, did they?”).